bunhead for life

20. gemini.

Month: January, 2013

stupid me.

I hate to feel like I’m losing someone. I strongly dislike that feeling you get when you and your friend are texting and you think that you’re boring to him/her. And because of that, I’m sort of afraid that i might lose someone I love eg. my friends. Am I a boring person? Maybe we just don’t have something in common. I don’t want to force myself to be something that I’m not.

oh, and my friend asked me not to cancel people out of my life so fast. I tend to have this habit of pushing people away. I don’t wanna do that but it’s just something that is in me. Change, is what I need right now.

Some more, I would love someone to chase after me right now. But God seems to forbid that thing from happening. Or maybe the time has yet to come. “I feel so alone every Friday night…” – Born to Die, Lana Del Rey. I feel empty, always. Everyone around me has somebody to love. But I don’t. Maybe God’s trying to hint me that IT’S OKAY TO BE SINGLE. Yeah, it’s totally fine to be single. Nothing’s wrong with being single, right? And I would like to hug someone tightly until they feel suffocated, cuddle with them, kiss their cheeks and lips, and most of all, I think what i really need right now is someone to love me.

Ice cream truck

I’m 18 now, well actually just 17+. I want to dream big. Initially I wanted to be a pharmacist(i still want to be one), but now it seems like my chemistry-learning-and-understanding-progress isn’t pretty satisfying. So the other day I was day-dreaming until i thought of some great ideas which i can do to my forever-never-changing-and-boring-life. “I want to build schools. Maybe in Africa or India. At those remote areas where most of the time they have doctors and nurses flying to the patient’s house by a helicopter or a plane.”, these thoughts kept on going. 

Oh, and of course before all the school-building-stuff, I will have to earn A LOT of money first. And, I really really hope to own an ice cream truck. Just visualize this : You’re driving a light shade of cotton candy pink ice cream truck around the neighbourhood. As you drive, the speakers on your truck are playing some unknown kiddy songs. The sun-glaring weather is literally melting the human beings. Then these little kids come running towards your ice cream truck with their flip-flops. At that moment you realize that every single kid running towards your direction is smiling out from ear to ear. The parents too, walk out from their houses and head towards your truck with a slight smile on their face. The kids get to eat ice cream, the parents get to eat too, and you too get to be happy because you can eat ice cream and earn money at the same time. The relationship of mutualism is achieved.