suck it up, dude.

by Steph

Today, something remarkable/significant just happened. I just cried, so did my mum. If my mum ever cries, there is a chance of 95% something horrible happened. 

As usual I was taking my nap and I planned to wake up at 1730 to study and do some house chores. It was 1716 my mum came back from work and she walked in hopping mad. She then banged in my bedroom swiftly after 3 seconds. She started breaking down, crying, bursting into tears, boohoo-ing and at the same time she roared loudly claiming that I DO NOT RESPECT HER. She thinks that she treats me heavenly nice but I treat her like shit left on the ground dried for days. Woah woah woah, mum, wait a second. You? treat me nicely? excuse me? 

Yes, I have to admit that she treats me nicely sometimes but she ain’t allowing me go out yo. She doesn’t even think that I’m a human being who has a brain that knows how to think/feel. I’m 18 years old. I have high school friends and college friends. AND I’M THE ONLY F*CKING DAUGHTER WHO HAS NO ONE TO TALK TO IN THIS HOUSE. I’M A HUMAN BEING, NOT A F*CKING ANIMAL WHO NEEDS TO OBEY WHAT YOU SAY ALL THE TIME. You ain’t not know a shit about me, mum. Do you know my favourite colour? No. Do you know what’s on my mind? No.  Moving on, you think that you treat me and dad nicely 24/7? Even when you shade us or telling us all the negative vibes or the things that we can’t do in our face? That’s not nice. I call that bullshit. As a wife or a mother, instead of being negative towards a problem, please be positive and optimistic and have faith in your family members. One does not simply say that your own daughter’s gonna be a trash collector or hair salon girl in the future. You’re just gonna pass down that stupid motherf*cking negative vibes to your biological daughter. 

I swear to God that I am never gonna be like my mum or my dad in the future. I’m never gonna treat my kids the way my mum treats me. 

I hate to talk to my mum cause whenever I speak a word, i get scolded. It felt like, you’re giving yourself a huge punch or slap in the face and then bruises and blood stains started to appear. Just like how I cry every time I didn’t get to go out. You have no idea how much courage I need to gain and how much fear I need to overcome in order to ask my mum if I can go out with my friends. Cause in the end, 100% of her answers are gonna just be a word, NO. That “NO” is like, sort of subconciously expected but I still keep my hopes up to get a “Yes” from her. 

“High expectation always leads to disappointments.”