bunhead for life

20. gemini.

Month: August, 2013

movie night + skype

I cannot sleep right now

Your breath intoxicated me

The breathe-ins and outs on your microphone

I hear them penetrating my soul

through my earphones.

We ended the call awkwardly

but I am really happy

You said let’s watch again next time

On cloud nine I said yes.

 

I would watch endless horror movies with you, and make you watch the superheroes movies that I like.

I would go on countless food hunts with you, and discover new places for good food.

No doubt in my mind where you belong

I’ve grown closer to him than ever. We text from morning to night. We tell each other stuffs. We talk about food, music, movies and everything. I bought him a shirt from h&m as his birthday present, It was an XS but when he tried it on, it was exactly his size. He was happy, I was, too. 

We agreed on going for food hunt after trials. He said we should skype and watch horror movies again. 

I want to thank God for everything. His plans, His will, His everything has made me met this guy and of course not to mention, a bunch of nice classmates. I’ve grown a lot, as a human being. Praise the Lord! 

Voices in my head

This is such a rarity. I don’t feel like stuffing my earphones into my ears when I’m taking lrt back home now. It sort of became my habit to listen to music but today, I just feel like shutting down the whole world immediately, without any music, just the voices in my head. I wanna have some time alone but then I realized doing that is the worst solution ever when it comes to dealing with depression.

I realized you can never keep a person if he has another one in his heart. Has or had, It doesn’t make much difference. I want to fall for him, hopelessly. At the same time, I want him to fall for me hopelessly, too. But it seems like non of these are going to happen anyway. 

I hate the feeling of getting too attached to that person. It sucks like shit, literally. 

I want to cry. But my tears aren’t rolling down. I want to be sad, for a little while. But I don’t want my friends to stop talking to me. I don’t wanna seem like I’m a quiet person anymore.(cause i ain’t, okay?)

And I realized(I think) yc likes him.

I need to get this off my chest. To be able to breathe again. All these mixed feelings are the one and only reasons why I do not want to fall in love. 

當你在穿山越嶺的另一邊 我在孤獨的路上沒有盡頭
時常感覺你在耳後的呼吸 卻未曾感覺你在心口的鼻息

when reality’s even outta your imagination

My baby’s engaged. Zayn’s engaged. with his perrie. 

whatever. 

and Zayn’s only 20…? No one gets married at the effing young age. 

People do greater stuffs than getting married or engaged at this age like, learning new stuffs or getting to know new people. 

I’m not shipping them. I never did. 

第一次.

”还记得这个味道吗?我说过,它会永远提醒你,我们的爱情是真实的。“

“别哭,我的坏男孩要知道,我不舍得走远。我会在你在唱歌的时候,会变成一个音符,在你弹琴的时候,变成一根琴弦,在你苦恼的时候,变成一杯啤酒,在你孤独的时候,变成一张唱片。我爱你 吕夏或宫宁 whatever。”

 

you’ll always be my favourite “what if”

I fell. 

I was hurt.

I learned. 

But God forbids me from dwelling and basking in the gloomy past. So I moved on. 

Now I fell again. 

With a whole new person.

But something in me restraints me from doing that. My consciousness. My mind. 

But God seems to allow my feelings to triumph over my sanity. 

 

 

#ilovesingaporetothemoonandback

I am back from singapore. Just reached home ytd 2am in the morning. How cray. Anyway I had a great time in singapore, excluding the need to constantly look at my cousin’s mood, and my mum’s. I hate the idea of that, like wth I’m here to have fun and travel and I need to see your face. “It depends, see if it’s raining. If it’s raining I’m not walking there.” Like wtf, I’m not as fortunate as you I don’t come to singapore frequently, just walk there with an umbrella.(we were at Orchard Road that time) 

I’m very understanding. I always always follow what my cousin says. Well except that perfume thing at mustafa. I have to admit I was kinda outta my mind that time. 

Other than all the bad things, I bought a white jumper with black stripes and a black skater skirt and a lot of miniature chocolates and did a henna tattoo which sort of attracted everyone’s attraction. Overall, Singapore was fun.

#ilovesingapore 

my man

Yesterday night was Jay chou’s concert. I was in awe, of his perfect-grid-chocolate-bar-oh-so-line-defined abs. I didn’t go cray as how I did, at gd’s concert. It was all of because joey’s friends. They um, are not very cray instead they’re really well behaved human beings(unlike me an animal trying to act like a human). So I did sort of let out of my animal side for only quite a while.

I mixed with the ahem-higher-level-people-of-the-ahem-society-ahem yesterday night. Some of them are really really nice. Friendly and humble. Some of them are, haha crayyyyy. Bodyguards and drivers around us. It felt really weird. And I saw some of the instagram-famous-people and they were really pretty(in real life) I have to say. Like Cneoh. Ughhhh fangirl shit.

Oh okay back to Jay Chou. He was so nice to all of us and of course he sang my favourite song 青花瓷. Me and J sang along to his songs and we really did enjoy ourselves there. What a happy night. I was genuinely happy.