Voices in my head

by Steph

This is such a rarity. I don’t feel like stuffing my earphones into my ears when I’m taking lrt back home now. It sort of became my habit to listen to music but today, I just feel like shutting down the whole world immediately, without any music, just the voices in my head. I wanna have some time alone but then I realized doing that is the worst solution ever when it comes to dealing with depression.

I realized you can never keep a person if he has another one in his heart. Has or had, It doesn’t make much difference. I want to fall for him, hopelessly. At the same time, I want him to fall for me hopelessly, too. But it seems like non of these are going to happen anyway. 

I hate the feeling of getting too attached to that person. It sucks like shit, literally. 

I want to cry. But my tears aren’t rolling down. I want to be sad, for a little while. But I don’t want my friends to stop talking to me. I don’t wanna seem like I’m a quiet person anymore.(cause i ain’t, okay?)

And I realized(I think) yc likes him.

I need to get this off my chest. To be able to breathe again. All these mixed feelings are the one and only reasons why I do not want to fall in love.